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Watermark March 1, 2001

 

Can The Golden Years Be Gay Years? by Tom Dyer

The Palms of Manasota is the first community for gay seniors in the nation - and there's a waiting list.

PALMETTO - As Bill Laing approached retirement age in the mid - 1980's, began asking himself some troubling questions: Where could he retire and not have to deal with discrimination? Would he too encounter the isolation he'd heard about from other gay seniors?

Laing's concerns were confirmed when a friend moved into a southwest Florida retirement home. After this man told fellow residents that he was gay, they shunned him. He was left alone, rejected and old.

"The last few years of your life are precious," Laing said at the time. "What kind of years will they be if you have to live a lie?"

A retired Long Island University psychology professor and freelance real estate developer, Laing decided to do something about it. He purchased twenty acres of undeveloped farmland in Palmetto, just north of Bradenton, to pursue his vision of a retirement village exclusively for lesbians and gay men.

Utilizing his money alone, Laing developed the necessary infrastructure - roads, sewers, electricity - for a small residential community. He moved into the first home in December,1997, and dozens soon followed him to the Palms of Manasota. Laing died there in May 2000, surrounded by the new friends who were also living his dream.

With 21 detached houses completed. Phase I of the Palms of Manasota is now sold out. And as further endorsement of Laing's vision, there are eight people waiting in line to purchase his home when his estate is settled.

RETIREMENT AS REALITY
The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) estimates that there are currently between one and three million lesbians and gay men over the age of 65 in America. By 2030, that number will be greater than four million. And while the majority of straight seniors are cared for by spouses and children, gay seniors often lack those family ties. Many have no idea who will care for them if they need assistance in their old age.

"We are particularly vulnerable, as we get older," said Terry Kaelber of Seniors Action in a Gay Environment (SAGE) in a recent Newsweek article on the subject.

Despite this increased vulnerability, retirement has long been a low priority within the gay community. Some speculate that this is due to the premium placed on youth among high profile gay men. Others emphasize that for years, AIDS made old age seem more like wishful thinking than inevitability.

"We didn't have the sense that we would have a future," said Rev. Ken South, a policy fellow with NLGTF. But with increased optimism, and a wave of baby boomers approaching retirement age, gays and lesbians are beginning to reconsider. And well they should notes Rev. South.

"It is clear that aging service providers are not ready for this new wave of gay and lesbians elders," he said. "Policymakers are either ignorant of it, or running away from it, and the gay community by and large has not faced it at all."

NGLTF recently release a groundbreaking study entitled "Outing Age: Public Policy Issues Facing Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Elders." Among the report's findings:

Several federal programs blatantly exclude or otherwise discriminate against gay elders. For example, Social Security pays survivor benefits to widows and widowers but not to surviving spouses of same-sex life partners. And Medicaid regulations protect the homes and assets of married spouses but offer no such protection of same-sex partners.

Tax laws and other regulations of 401(k) plans and pensions discriminate against same-sex partners and could cost the surviving partner over one million dollars during the course of a lifetime.

Twice as many lesbians and gay men over the age of 65 live alone than do their heterosexual counterparts. 20 percent of gay seniors have no children, as compared to 90 percent of all seniors.

Bias against older gays and lesbians is rampant within the health care and social service industry. In one survey, for example, a full 52 percent of nursing home personnel reported intolerance and bias against homosexual residents.
"This country's aging policies and services assume heterosexuality, and a close relationship with adult children and extended birth families to provide basic services as people age," said Rev. South.

AGING THE GAY WAY
The awareness of the challenges faced by gay seniors is bringing the issue to the attention of developers across the country. Gay retirement communities are being planned in Atlanta, Los Angeles, Palm Springs, Fort Lauderdale (see sidebar) and other cities.

In Boston, there are plans for the Stonewall Communities, a gay urban development named after the famous gay bar in New York's Greenwich Village that was at the center of the gay rights movement during late 1960s. And in New York, SAGE is working with a real estate development company to locate a site and investors for a 100-unit, mixed income assisted living facility.

But so far, only the Palms of Manasota has developed from dream to concrete reality. In many ways, the cluster of 21 single-family houses seems no different than other small Florida developments. Similar-looking two-and three-bedroom homes nestle up against a cul-de-sac on one side, and surround a pond with spraying fountain on the other.

All of the homes were built by a single contractor, and sold for $120,000 to $150,000. Palms of Manasota president John Goodwin describes the residences as "land condominiums:" residents own the land and the house, but the yard, ponds, roads and communal areas are maintained by a condo association.

Phase II of the retirement community, to be built on 8 acres directly behind Phase I, will include 44 lower-priced triplexes and quadruplexes. According to Goodwin, twelve new residents have made commitments to purchase, and he believes that rest will be pre-sold by the end of the year.

Although Phase III is still being conceptualized, Goodwin reports that it will likely include condominiums, apartments, and assisted living facilities - possibly in a high-rise building.

In the meantime, a 10,000 sq. ft. community center is scheduled for completion by 2002. It will include offices, exercise facilities, and a swimming pool, and is designed not only for use by residents but also seniors from surrounding communities.

TAKING CHANCES, BREAKING GROUND
Existing Palms of Manasota residents 12 women and 19 men - may wonder where they'll find the time. Geri Whitaker Scott, 63, bought the last available house and moved in just three weeks ago. "There's something for me to do every night," she said.

Scott, a lifelong New Jersey resident, discovered the Palms of Manasota when she ran into a friend who had just moved there at a seminar in St. Petersburg.

"I never thought I'd live in Florida," she said, "but I have Multiple Sclerosis and I thought I might feel better in the warmer climate. Then when I visited I saw that the setup of the house had a good energy. The openness and the flow of the rooms will be perfect if I ever need to use a scooter to get around."

John Dorr, the community's fourth resident and the current trustee for the company that controls the Palms of Manasota, said that Scott demonstrates one of Bill Laing's most important beliefs. "He always said that you should keep people in their own home for as long as you can," said Dorr, "and all of us in this community believe that. We chip in to make sure that's possible."

In fact, residents take turns sitting with Dorr's 94-year-old mother, who lives in one of the residences.

"It's almost like having an instant family," said Greer North, 59. "We look out for each other."

North and partner Roger Robinson, also 59, first heard about the Palms of Manasota on an episode of In the Life, the gay and lesbian newsmagazine broadcast nationwide on PBS. They checked out the community during a vacation, and moved from Oregon soon thereafter.

"We really had no intention of moving across the country," said Robinson. "But we changed our minds when we met the people who live here. That's what sold us...the people. These just seemed like the kind of people we'd like to grow old with."

Palms of Manasota resident Charles Showard, 80, agrees. "I just underwent surgery, and when I got home from the hospital everyone came over with cards and gifts," he said.

Founder Laing would be proud that his dream has been so fully realized. Back in 1994, he told USA Today, "What we're trying to bring back is the feeling of a village... sit on your porch, tip your hat and say 'Hi, neighbor.'"

The residents of the Palms of Manasota are breaking new ground as residents of the nation's first gay and lesbian retirement village. More importantly, though, they have each broken important ground in their own lives. They have discovered a family.
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